It must be more than ten years since Tamara and I were last in touch. Once again, in this time of isolation, I am gratified by a connection made via this blog. It is a reminder and a confirmation that physical separation doesn’t need to keep us apart in spirit.

John Kelly blasts Trump for not helping with the transition: ‘The downside to not doing so could be catastrophic’—CNN

Once Loyal to Trump, Law Firms Pull Back From His Election Fight—The New York Times

More than 130 Secret Service officers are said to be infected with coronavirus or quarantining in wake of Trump’s campaign travel—WaPo

November 13, 2020

The abuser and his enablers
by Tamara Simon, Seattle, Washington

On Saturday, when the media declared Biden the president-elect, I did not feel happy. This really surprised me. For months I had been working on postcard campaigns, phone banks and delivering yard signs for Biden.

Then I realized that instead of feeling happy, I felt like a battered spouse who has moved to a safe house but has PTSD. All the broken bones have mended, but the trauma from the mental and physical abuse remains. You also know that the abuser is still out there. Free to find you and still cause damage to your life and the lives of other people.

The abuser has so many enablers to support him. Half of all Americans of voting age wanted him to continue with his pursuit of a dictatorship instead of a democracy. They were comfortable with a pathological liar who uses racism to fan the flames of hate. They overlook his misogyny, xenophobia and disregard for the constitution. They are fine with his lack of integrity and common decency. Most baffling of all to me is how they dismiss the deaths of a quarter of a million Americans due to his lack of leadership and concern over a deadly pandemic.

I used to wonder how Nazi Germany or the Rwandan genocide could happen. I no longer wonder how these crimes against humanity and mass hysteria came to be. The abuser encouraged militia groups, used media outlets to create chaos, cast constant doubt on those who opposed him (fake news) and eliminated those who spoke truth to power. For all the hate speech and criminal behavior of the abuser, the blame has to be shared. The people followed the abuser. That is why I no longer feel safe in America. So many Americans share the values of the abuser.

Now, almost a week after Biden has been declared the president-elect, the abuser refuses to make a concession speech. He declares fraud, wants recounts and legal action to retain his position. Peaceful transfer of power is in jeopardy.

I want us all to be able to relax and be happy. I want us to move forward and heal. I want to trust that America will be a safe haven with justice for all. I am grateful for all those who have the energy to work so hard to create a better future for everyone in America. I just need more time to heal right now, and I suspect I am not alone in that.


  1. Your story was right on. Those of us who voted for Biden are hoping that he will be allowed to do the work that must be done, in order for us and the nation to heal. On the other hand, Trump wants to foist his personal chaos onto everyone that he can. The only thing that’s changed since the election is that Trump’s hair is not orange anymore!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is SO true. In the past year more than anything else, I have felt despair that half of US voters think this pathetic, racist, homophobic, sociopathic shell of a man, is a god to them that can do no wrong! This has nothing to do with politics – it’s about basic decency and how we want our country to be. If I were in my 30’s right now instead of my 80’s, I’d would seriously be considering moving to Canada.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for saying it so well. I know he is still out there and with his need to be “worshipped”, I too, am concerned. And what of his followers, how do we feel safe around them? I am so thankful that there are so many good people still out there that we have a chance to keep our constitution and laws and make our country more equitable.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Tamara has written a very powerful, and in many ways, painful piece. I thank her and agree with her that I certainly need time to heal and I pray that those of us who feel this way will find the path to that healing.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. As a gay man and a senior I too feel the abuse this despicable man has promoted against our nation promoting hatred and autocracy. His refusal to concede just puts on display to the whole world what a cowardly and spoiled child he is and the hatred shown by his supporters has made life so difficult for so many. I just don’t understand how so many can be so easily misled to undying support for this miserable excuse for a human being who has destroyed so much that was good about our nation. Thank you Tamara for showing us your pain. So many others share the same feelings.

    Liked by 1 person

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