Gobsmacked—and how to cope by Sue Robin

It is not often I can use the expression gobsmacked, but it or its siblings are the words I have used and heard most often in talking with friends this past week. Stunned, aghast, overwhelmed, shocked—all these intense words and the deep feelings that go with them have been the source of sleepless nights, countless tears, and enormous dread. This is a nightmare that we cannot wake ourselves from, even with a scream. We, also, cannot allow our bodies to drown in this state of high cortisol without doing irreparable harm. What to do?

First, know that this state is only one step on the path and the tears and screams and pain are all part of the healing process. This too shall pass. Hard to believe, huh? Take a breath, and then another. None of the things I tell you will make the pain go away, but they will give you an opportunity to not let the pain control you.

For me, writing is helpful. It makes concrete the negative feelings that have taken over my body and places them outside of me. It helps me to understand what I am feeling and sometimes lets me know something I can do, like remembering the phrase, “I don’t share your views, but I will gladly talk with you in four years.” The book The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron encourages people to write daily and tells you if you don’t know where to start, to write that! The words and feelings will come. It is a good place to put the anger, disappointment, and loss of hope.

Writing is not the only tool we have. Exercise raises endorphins and, while you might not feel as joyful at the end of a run or a good workout as in the past, you will feel a little less stressed. Perhaps your shoulders will have relaxed a quarter of an inch.

If you are overcome with emotions at home or out and about, look around and name the things you see. Car going by, bus stopping, people crossing the street. Picture on the wall, sofa, dust on the coffee table. Naming things helps being us back to the present moment.

Two of my favorite things to see when I am in town or at the park are children playing and giggling and puppies chasing a ball or a squirrel. Look for the little bits of life to get out of your head.

Music lowers cortisol levels, too. Is it Bach, Beethoven, or The Boss? Let them help you return to center.

Do you have a favorite painting? If you can’t get to the museum, pull it up on the computer. Not quite the same but see if you can sit with it for ten minutes. What did you notice?

Mother Nature will bring you home and a bit of joy. Trees and flowers all showing us how to plant roots, grow, and just be.

These exercises are ways to center yourself because we must all get back to center to find our way forward. None of us knows yet what it is we must do, but we know we want to be a change agent. We want to make the world we live in a kinder, more inclusive, and more loving place for ourselves, our families, our friends—and the people who thought Trump was a good idea.