A Sisyphean task by Sue Robin

My thoughts are so jumbled I cannot write coherently. My mind flits between the chaos caused by another shooting and the utter destruction of our democracy (with all its faults) that I have treasured for my entire life.

My heart is shattered in a way that I cannot explain. There has been another church shooting. This one was around the corner from where my family lives. While not a church they attended, it was their neighborhood and their neighbors. Though I live over a thousand miles away, they are my neighbors too, and wherever you live, yours as well.

This was not the first church shooting nor the first shooting. There have been nightclub shootings, school shootings, supermarket shootings, a dance club shooting, and random shootings wherever you turn.  Those are just the shootings of people by people who do not know them. Then there are the murders by known assailants. I wonder what it would be like to live in a country that had strict gun control laws? Where murders are not a weekly or daily news item?

I am living a nightmare in a country that has more guns than people. Still, when there is a mass shooting, some claim that if the teachers had guns or the church had a metal detector, it would not have happened. It is all horseshit.

This shooter found the doors locked. She then barricaded them and shot through the church windows. She planned it as many perpetrators have done before her.

Because she was a transgender woman, those who are terrified of the LGBTQ community are now labeling transgender people violent and have produced a graphic with false information to prove their point.  Even AI doesn’t find their graphic true. Take a look at this fact check from Snopes. Most mass murderers are white males. Those statistics hold true going back to the 1960s.

How does one convince the world that what we need is not more guns, but loving kindness, compassion, and the ability to see each other as equals?

While I try to cope with the constant gun violence in our country, I am also watching our democracy be dismantled by the destructor-in-chief. The President of the USA is completely mad. He is as power hungry as a dying man wandering in the desert is thirsty.

I look at all the amoral, hurtful, and disruptive things the current president has done and think surely there will soon be that proverbial straw that will break the camel’s back. The truth is, this man, who was convicted of sexual assault, financial crimes, and indicted on other crimes, seems to be Teflon-coated. He is rude, a bully, and as dishonest as the day is long. His impulsivity is wreaking havoc on our economy, our allies, and our local communities—and still nothing sticks. His base still thinks it was a good idea to bring him back for a second term.

I see coverage of protests every week. Read about the courts that have said no to this president and then watch as he ignores the courts and tries a different workaround to get his way.

I want justice to win out, goodness to prevail, but I remain like Sisyphus, pushing the giant rock up an extraordinarily steep hill.